Let’s not let the Mayoral campaign turn bitter. In a recent candidate’s forum Pogo made reference to his mastery of CPR. Soon the fur began to fly. “Where’s his certificate” a reporter asked. “I haven’t seen him at the fire station,” another partisan mooed. Pogo just laughs at such “gottcha journalism.” But we at the campaign can’t turn a blind eye to charges of padding his resume. So for clarity’s sake, let me explain.

CPR stands for Canine Petting Response, an activity in which Pogo has certainly demonstrated expertise. It is not as simple as FPR, Feline Petting Response, which ranges from purring to disinterest, or BPR, Bovine Petting Response, consisting of blinking and chewing. CPR is interactive, involving a complex series of moves, including scratching, rolling over, howling and begging for more. CPR is closer to HPR, but I needn’t go into that.

I hope this clears up any doubts as to Pogo’s integrity. Support Children’s House by voting for any of our fine candidates and vote often. As Pogo says, the important thing is to exercise your vote, but be sure to clean up after it.

Dirk Dirigible

Pogo Campaign Co-manager